Books

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SEXY FEMALE MURDERESSES

To be released by Glom Press: Wednesday 5th December 2018

 

Like a smoke alarm that plays “I Believe In Miracles” by Hot Chocolate while your house burns down.

Like a greased up stripper pole for use in emergencies, only.

They say (I say) that death is life cumming, and death by a sexy female murderess is the female climax: slippery, elusive and by the time it finally comes you’ll wish you were never born. Sexy Female Murderesses is a warning to those who would never heed it anyway, and a childlike joy for others, like floating your rubber duck down a river of blood.

Grills slices up figures of history, autobiography and speech, in a delightful springtime bloodbath for famously evil and evilly famous women—dead or alive, young and old. Burn your house down, poison your whole family, shoot your lovers point blank: just read this book before you do.

Tens! Tens! Tens across the board for this insanely beautiful & extremely deadly masterpiece by Eloise Grills. The last year the publishing world has seen an explosion of sanctimonious, pristinely illustrated books of inspirational women throughout history, and this funny, lyrical gem with big windswept illustrations is the perfect antidote to so much good taste!

Is it poetry? Is it history? Is it memoir? Stop asking such dumbass questions and just read it already. Grills’s work is formally & lyrically daring, and it has heart, soul and thighs for days. Totally, undeniably, pour a bottle of arsenic into your husbands’s dinner good. I love it forever, no take backs.

– Hera Lindsay Bird

 

big beautiful female theory

Acquired in a two-book deal with Brow Books. This book is to be released in 2020, along with an as-yet untitled book of collected essays and visual art to be published in 2021.

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Like if James Joyce wrote Ulysses on the really horny part of his rags. Like if TS Eliot erected The Waste Land out of appetite-suppressant lollypop sticks and burned it to the ground. Like if Virginia Woolf used The Waves as a euphemism for her belly fat, squeezed it to make it look like a mouth and spoke through it for her whole life. Like Sylvia Plath with mummy issues shaking the whole house down with her sobs. With thoughts as good and pure as the ground after a cum-storm, Big Beautiful Female Theory is an illustrated memoir that binds slogans, memoir, history, poetry, fiction, critical theory, pop culture, fat theory, art criticism, sex and a befuddling procession of acronyms to defy the ways in society polices, manages, and dehumanises bodies—squishing the soul so that it can conform to its unforgiving standards.

 

If you’re sexy and you know it slap your hams 

A book of poetry to be released by Subbed In

If you’re a snack-motivated sexpot with limited critical faculties when it comes to pop culture and a tendency to overshare, clap your ass.

If you’re dead inside and you’re crying out to be woken up there (a la Evanescence) and you really want to show it if you’re sexy and you know it slap your hams

… and then read this book.

This is a good book for bad people, no judgement. A good book for people who like a procession of dog’s dicks, groundhogs, asses, nose picking, depression and bisexual innuendo; I forget what else. A poetry collection like nothing else but actually like a lot of other things. Like chicken soup for the soul, except someone misheard and they used chicken poop instead. And now they have chicken poop instead of a soul.